CONGRATS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT KELSEY GRAMMER!!

taylor is such a pussy. she def plays both sides. it drives me crazy that none of the women are open and honest at how crazy and pathological camille is! camille is NOTHING. I'd spit on that crazy wackjob if I ever saw her. I'm sure that "answering machine" was that confusing. she's so stupid. It's weird that this whole season is based around a lie, I'm glad they were able to spin it for this long. yeah ok, that woman is a medium..and I'm a leprechaun. DD is not her friend, shes a leach just like those homeless people they let live with them. she's doing your makeup and helping you get dressed, she's hired help HELLO. the show is so much better when camille is not on it. i like adrienne but she and paul are kind of weird. I didn't realize they all lived that far away from camille haha faye kind of looks familiar. like ive said before, and I don't mean to joke if it's true, but kim has an undiagnosed nerve issue. um yeah medium is cancelled so I guess her weird ass can't say that anymore, unless she says the CANCELLED show is about me :) if I were faye I'd be ready to sink my teeth into camille! like a rabid dog grrrrrrrrrrrr I think taylor is like their poor friend or hanger-on who tries to act like she's in their circle but she's not. wannabeeeeee buzzzzz. why would they automatically say the show is based on her. I'd say UM WHO CARES..NEXT subject! wow you're so cool. HAHAHA yes you were right lisa "sidekick" lisa gives little digs but i dig it! kyle and lisa are the only 2 that are actutally pretty close up the rest are hot messes. every housewives has a dinner party, OBVI, not hating on bravo but scripteddddd. I think "medium" missed her ride to the looney bin. "yes we are all alpha females yes we are." wow how deep. camille did porn so i guess she would know who was in playboy. camille has a pinocchio face, a wooden face. ew camille did playboy um BARF. who gives a shit about being naked but camille meet kettle. she loves the cigs she is CUCKOOOOOO. i dont remember jack smoking in the shining ?? am i wrong? y'all?!! now shes from the south?!! if i were there id be like shut your face. what is she talking about?! i think allison is a serial killer and thats why she can speak to the dead because she kills them. she "performs" and then kills them and wears their skin. id be like bring it on BITCH. ok so obvs she knows their back story to be able to know all the info. i would laugh my ass off! i dont take shit like that personally. shes out of her damn mind laugh at it! at least camille admitted shes a man's girl. NO CAMILLE no one is jealous of your skag face. she is living in a cardboard box now so im laughing. no you hesitated..she TOTALLY talks like sally o'malley from snl..molly shannon days! id so be like faye and tell that bitch whats up. allison talks weird, very actor. here comes camille's pathological side, like faye would know what has gone on! a set up for WHAT camille?!! lisa needs to shut up and let it roll! allison was not standing up for you..shes putting on a show. i would have flipped that damn table. i would have choked that bitch. i would have said WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! im mad that no one really said that and kept it going. taylor again is a pussy, she knows what shit she started. taylor needs to go work on her finances. OK she was just smoking her cig backwards bahahaha kim needs to go full force with taylor! taylor got caught and she can't admit to her shit. she can't even spell friends..camille can't find her way out of her closet. kelsey likes women too, he likes to get women preggo too :) and he's engaged, i wonder if medium saw that coming?? excuse my language but these whores are stupid useless cunts. peaceeee who invited denise to wwhl?! LOL

leave the gay husband at home

I love that Patti's mom's name is Rhoda! so cute. As many may not know she's adopted which is why she looks nothing like anyone in her family. Patti looks amazing! She's the thinnest she's ever been. ew no the poker player is not cute thank you. maybe far away in the video she looks ok. It's funny that Patti mentioned the discussion of working out money if someone you're dating makes less than you, because she said Andy wanted to ride the money train haha ok BARF and WOOF like this guy is one of the butt-ugliest guys I've ever seen. He obvs can only get women if he pays for them. Not even the most desperate girl would want him. I love Patti's driver Deshawne! He always has something clever to say. He wants a woman that looks beautiful?! UH how about you try and look good yourself, have a total body transplant. If I were Patti I would add that he needs to get veneers and sand down part of his head because it's lopsided. No guy talks about how big their dick is, like with money, if you have to talk about it... what is it with the asian women thing?! how offensive! I guess I don't understand but I would never take him on as a client. Just too weird and I would never recommend him to a woman. I'm shocked she has made that much money just from playing poker. ewwww Gerard Butler is dirtyyyyy and totally looks like a bloated cartoon character! right?! My favorite part is the casting session. Why are they giving this doucheface any credit? He is all talk I bet! No woman wants to ride that ride SORRY. I'm sure he has paid for it and that's about it. Andrea is a little too nervous around Patti but it seems like that whole office is tension. I feel bad for these women that are potentially being set up with Sean. She loves Carolyn?? She said nothing and didn't even smile haha ok. EWWW Randy Quaid and any type of sex is not something I want to think of!! hahaha exhausted from working at the age of 21?? good luck honey. The dudes for Beth look good and normal. BAHAHAHA "geisha time in japan" I think that Beth needs to stop making that scrunched face. stop please stop. I def don't think Dave was being creepy, sorry love but you're not that cute. Of course she likes Aldo, exactly what Patti told her NOT to! hey MOM. I suggest she look at people when she talks to them and not at the ground. Ray seems like the one she should pick but I doubt she will. I'm surprised! I'm glad she picked him. That looks like a fun thing to do! I like the mixology class. ew no Sean please don't dance. Just go home. He should pick Allison. Sean looks like he would be arrested on law & order svu. yayyy Ray!! yayyy Allison! yes I agree both made great choices. oh that guy with the mole was hot. she's saving him for me :) thanks pats! I went to her show and she said she would save Jakey Gylly for me :) haha walking up if I were Ray I'd be like um who the eff are you?! Beth you are blowin it! I think she should watch that episode of Will and Grace when Grace tells Kristin Davis' character that Will's bf who is her gay bff will NEVER want her. HE'S GAY. nothing is going to change that. Instead of her wearing a shorter skirt he should wear a bag over his head. Beth will be alone for the rest of her life, I'll call it now. EARTH TO BETH, COME IN BETH..GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY. eek! don't touch her hair. not even a bimbo would want him. who does he think he's fooling!??? my fav champagne!!! very dry. omg he should not be left alone with her. I would run away. Patti was right he has been hurt in the past, but I'm sure that was the only woman who has ever liked him. Allison does not think he's cute!! really?!!! is it because he has money? yeahhhhh. why is Beth always looking at Patti like she's posing for a porn magazine? what is wrong with her face? I'm glad Allison didn't go out with Sean again pheewww.

OH YEAH EVERGLADES YEAH

as jersey shore season 2 ends, honestly I'm kind of over it. maybe they should get in the water and hang out with the crocs. I'd take the salad. I'm in for trying new things but no way in hell am I going to eat a fried frog or croc. I'm grossed out just watching it. I bet it stinks in there too. I'm surprised that the restaurant would have blow pops haha ewww I'd probably do that too. he should have a pepcid. sometimes the phone table is gone but its back in action. the lampshade is always off though haha when is Ramona not late? she or he? is weird. who calls that much later and says they're almost ready?? maybe she needed to tuck her dick back. what a SNOOZEFEST of a last night. uh since when does Pauly want a gf?! did I miss like 500 episodes? what is wrong with Sam?!! like really talk about issues. Ron Ron run away F A S T. Sam isn't stubborn she's immature and thinks that everyone is going to put up with her bratty behavior. real men would run away from that. FINALLY they go out. I agree Sitch. ohhh of course Sam sitting by herself and Ron Ron tagging along! can't they just relax and have fun! too young to be this way!! life is short. uh no you don't work through anything. woof that was a grenade. I don't know if Vin should take them up on that offer. ewww. of course Sitch would go over there. DIRTY. yeah I'd be gagging too Jenni. stds are no bueno. I could never live in that rathole. I'm sure they had an infestation. yeah that was kind of rude for Sam to answer that way but Snooks always goes and pouts. what a shit-stirrer. Sam is kind of wacky and not in a good way. true true Sam really doesn't hang out with girls, just a bf, so she doesn't know how to act. I missed what Snooks said about Ang. why does Sitch have to start shit? Sitch likes to call out Vin, maybe he secretly wants to bone him. why would someone be offended by people calling them fake?! who gives a shit! maybe her roids kicked in and she was ready to CHARRGGEEE. did they do this because they knew it was almost over?! i mean come on, this is just stupid. finally Pauly is calling Jenni and Snooks out for being stupid! yes I agree 'yous' are all fucking nuts hahaha Pauly gets super heated! he never gets kind of mad just MAD! get over it Jenni! go smoke some more cigs. I guess now that Ang is gone, they can fight with each other. somehow this fight will be Ang's fault. Snooks needs to get over it. haha no one cares but Snooks! Snooks blames everything on everyone else. ewww nice pile of trash behind her! bahahaha where did that mattress/cot come from? he's making sausageeee sausage and pepppppaaaaaasssss. I would have at least said bye to Jenni. I would not want to drive home!

no more mean muggin just hand huggin

It bugs me that Brittany spells her name Brittny. Yeah Kim needs to get over Reggie, and I'm glad she is because he was never going to marry her! Like she has to know that. HE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE AROD. ummm k no offense to Miles but he is not cute and looks like a dinosaur. Yeah I wouldn't want to talk to Scott either. Good for Bruce! He is not taking all this pretend changing that Scott is doing seriously, as he shouldn't. I wonder if the Miami store is doing well. Apparently, if they are going to open a NY one. ew Scott is so rude. nice slicked back hair. NOT. ew I hate when he is there. No, you and Bruce have no similar interests. Obvs Scott has no friends and he keeps trying to hang with Bruce. Yeah he has done activities with the other's boyfriends, they aren't complete douchefaces. aww Mason is so cute! They all look so cute for this photoshoot. Yeah that kilt looks awful. Actually when she is posing it doesn't look bad. Why does Kourt have to go whine to Kris about Bruce not calling Scott back! Don't force it because that typically pushes people further away. Miles is not gorge. Why would it be hard to go to his game? and why would she fly to Dallas to see him?! um heller he is supposed to chase you! Who cares if Scott has no friends and family, not their problem! If I were Bruce I'd say no. yes that sounds good, kick his ass please. I agree that all three should be involved but why does it always have to fall on Khloe? Kourt just expects everyone to drop everything to do this and its always right away. Those panies arent't that bad. It's not weird that she took a shower first..or did I miss a joke or something. Sorry but I don't buy Scott being a changed man. no. haha "we're not quite there on the son" got that right! I'll give Scott credit that he wants to hang out with Bruce because he is a role model. Bruce is a good guy. I want to do the "hand hug" so cute! ginger ale is great for an upset tummy and on airplanes. I think that's cute when drinks are in jars. Mason is so cute! I love when he is there. Too bad Miles and Kim didn't last. But it's probably for the better that they didn't. Why does Kourt expect everyone to stop their lives and help her. If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. ok at first I was like how embarassing what is Scott doing! but that was nice of Scott to do that for Bruce. Ok yeah obvs Miami closed, wasn't listed with LA and possibly NY. They should just keep LA open and that's it. The grey suit is quite Gordon Gecko.

canadia

why doesn't Mike just leave by himself? Is Jenni wearing a beanie?! Miami is hot as hell. sweaty. like I said previously, I'm pretty sure that Ramona used to be a man at one point. why is he holding cash?! haha at first I thought he was going in to give it to her. I bet her breath is so nasty right now, ewww both of theirs. I've never noticed that they have bars on the window! yes, wife up a man. Snooks is in the same dress she wore the night before! why are they always smoking?! WOOF x8374839 it must smell like total butt in that house. Sitch is being the douchiest ever lately. He usually is chill but not now. what is she reading that is "junk"?? ew I'm sure Space is extra dirty. cabs are coming at 1am? late night! why is she wearing tennis shoes with her outfit?! why would Jenni only step in AFTER things got heated between the guys? she's not big and bad. yap yap yap and no bite. if I were a dude I'd be more scared of Pauly than any of the other guys. ok that is so awkward. why are Pauly and that girl just sitting there watching? these girls are kind of weird. if I were that girl's friend I would let her do her thing with Pauly while I went out on the couch or something. I'd just call a cab. what a WEIRD ASS conversation. no Pauly, she was def not 100% DTF. That girl was def not a grenade, she was a weirdo though. wouldn't they know about the stove from the beginning and open windows? opening the door really isn't going to work because it's humid so there is no breeze. they should have unblurred the firemen's faces. why are they walking around the house though? "a fire outfit on" haha I think Sitch means well but he has issues. Yeah that's pretty deep Pauly. I would light so many candles in that house. OF COURSE Sam would be offended by that! who cares if she looks asian! Sam takes things wayyyy too seriously and is so sensitive. I would have told her to stop it. I could not be around Sam for long periods of time. yeah Ron that's stating the obvs, she has a laundry list of issues. Do guys like Sam? I mean really, because I can't imagine any dude could/would want to date her. She needs to learn to love herself. When she gets serious she likes to point. Ron got a bad haircut, very "Dumb and Dumber" eww hook up board. GA-ROSS I would just live in the smush room and not let anyone else use it. I'm shocked there are still payphones! NO DISCOUNT mikey! if he would have just paid like $5 to park he wouldn't be out $175! that's weird that Snooks wouldn't go because she is the only girl. EW that's nice to walk into, trash bags full of nasty trash. sorry but Ramona is GROSS. those two girls aren't grenades, they have bad hair though. BAHAHA butt naked in the jacuzzi. eww did he just say he has shorts and a dirty ass shirt?! yeah right! these girls would not go home with them if they/or one of them had a boyfriend. I don't know why Mike would be a dick about that. yeah have a talk with him or just bring home one girl.

circle of sah-LIES

Here we go, Michaele already lying about having MS. Everything out of that tranny's mouth is a lie. Why is her voice like that?! It's awful!! Her name is Michaela and I'm glad Lynda addresses her like that. plead the fifth plead the fifth haha you tell her Cat! Lynda never said she had an eating disorder! She said she was worried that she was very thin. Michaele should never say something is not normal, with all the wackjob spew she says its laughable. MS is her initials, not her disease. Stacie needs to not be neutral here, she has to be steaming inside not saying how she really feels. How can she sit there and say no one is suspicious of them?!!! She, along with Gary Busey, have spun off this planet. OUT OF THEIR DAMN MINDS. I love that Cat says it like it is, most people would not have the big balls to do that! Stacie takes things way too personal, the thing that pissed her and her friend off is that she doesn't like Tyra. get over it Stacie. Michaele needs to shut her crazy mouth. Nothing she says is sincere. She may as well be speaking a language that no one in the world understands because nothing she says makes sense. I wouldn't have guessed that Lynda was 53! She looks great. Cat never "bashed" Obama, she just stated she was bummed that he didn't attend her wedding. obvs the "gay and colored" comment was completely a joke with their friend! He laughed too! Oh please Stacie, get off your high horse. Stacie doesn't get that what she is saying is implying that Cat may be racist. I'd be WAY more offended by what Mary said!! Why would Stacie not be offended by that?! She has known her longer probably. Mary totally had her eyes done.  I don't like that Stacie never says it like it is, even to their faces. How can she really hold it in around those women, specifically the sah-LIES. I like her husband though. yeah I don't like Erica! She is just a bitch and wanted to be on the show so she made a scene. The cameras and her lust to be on the show got into her. Michaele is probably happy the attention is off of her..not for long! I hope Andy lays into her. Michaele you are so stupid. WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?! shut the fuck up Michaele. I'm glad Michaele is crying, maybe Tareq gave her a cue to start the non-tears. I would have pulled a Teresa and lunged at that trash. I wish I could lunge through the TV and knock some sense into her. I think its kind of weird that Mary gets so angry with her daughter wearing her clothes. I never thought Mary looked glazed over. I wish Lynda wasn't on drugs! I'd like to see her throw the table at Michaele. Here comes the montage of FAKE FAKE FAKE sah-LIE. She is so phony. she was NEVER a cheerleader!! Her brother and the organization said she wasn't but she said they were lying. Michaele comes from nothing, that is the difference between she and Mary. Michaele is such a filthy fucking liar!! she said she was a cheerleader on WWHL last week! CIRCLE OF LIES. I really can't imagine that Michaele wasn't always like that. popular family?? is she high?! no one cares about the sah-LIES. she's not even crying! no tears. she's miserable. good :) you get what you give BITCH

carly reunion :)

I'm so nervous for Ty and Cate to see Carly! I can't even imagine how they felt. I bet Teresa and Brandon are way amped April couldn't go! I wouldn't want that trashbag anywhere near my home. Here we go, the first clip of Farrah and she is already complaining! Why does she hate her apartment?! she almost burned it down and got her curtains caught in the vacuum but I guess yeah she must hate it. SAY NO SAY NO! I wish Tino's son would have run far far away! No one wants Farrah! She's such a nasty MISERABLE bitch. Oh yeah that's good Amber, have a registered sex offender meet your daughter!! very nice. Gary, he is a sex offender and is one because of child molestation, soo instead of being at the batting cages I'd be at home guarding the door. Yeah I bet he is excited Leah answered the door. NOOOO DON'T HOLD HIS HAND!!! I'm so uncomfortable with this situation. Leah doesn't like him, kids know!!! run away Leah!! lock yourself in the bedroom please. Maci is such a cute girl she needs to get rid of that hair color, very bad. why would Maci lose custody? does he just say words and hope they make sense? seems like it. Julian is not straight Julian is not straight. I can't remember where Farrah is from but maybe he still feels he has to be closeted. HAHAHA open up a restaurant? ok Farrah. He'd be more excited if she had a penis. I can't believe her mom would joke like that! its not funny that you're a felon. Ty and Cate should just stay in west virginia or stay somewhere else, I wouldn't want to go home. ahhhh my tummy is in knots, I'm so nervous for them! why is Chris still there and why does Amber have WAYYY too much bronzer/frying her skin, horrible look. uh no he can't use your car! heebie jeebie central. Kyle didn't really say it was too much for him unless I just missed that. why should Maci have to come live at home? I know they miss BENT-ley but they can visit. That was a weird compliment that Ty gave I wouldn't be sure how to take that. Ryan is a douche and Maci should get full custody. get used to it Farrah, no one cares :) Farrah he's totally NOT into you, plus he likes men but even so no one wants to be your friend so just stop trying. OMG Carly is totally a mix of both Cate and Ty. That would be SO weird to see her. I wouldn't be able to stop looking at her! That's good that Leah is with Gary, she should just stay at his mom's house. Chris is probably combing the house for some of Leah's dirty clothes. Yeah leave Chris at your home ALONE. aww Carly on the swings! I'd be so happy that Carly was with such great parents. Thank god Carly is not in that shitstorm of their parents' lives. Um duh you haven't heard from Julian! That place is so ugly. I wish that Farrah lived on the streets and I have a feeling she may one day; I'd piss in her money cup. I wouldn't put up with that shit either! Farrah has no one in her life that wants to be around her! She has no friends and Kassy has stopped returning her phone calls, does she really not get it?! Um THANK YOU Maci just stated the obvious! Ryan's parents want him around, not Ryan. Maci truely loves BENT-ley, Ryan doesn't, its so obvious. The fact that she's so upset shows how much she cares. I really think Ryan had a lobotomy at some point. It looks like Amber ate some powder donuts, she is a MESS. The problem with Cate and April is that Cate has had to be the adult all her life, it will never change. Kristina, Farrah's one lone friend...for now. Julian is gay. Julian is gay. Julian is gay. omg Carly is such a happy baby! I'm so happy for Cate and Ty! I would be so happy that she is in such a great home. awww the recordable book! I'm so emotional right now. I wish the transition wasn't from Cate and Ty to Farrah! If I were Deb and Michael I'd toss her ass and never talk to her again. Being under a lot of stress does not give Farrah the right to act like such a cunt. She has such an ugly crying face, not that much better than her regular face. She is dead inside. What is she talking about? She didn't even tell Derek she was pregnant in the first show and now she is saying she thought they would be married?!! what chu talkin bout willis!!? AHHHHHHH NO Chris should never be with Leah. eww Chris dressed her! I'm so freaked out. He changed her?! If he wasn't a child molester than it would be okay for him to change her if he's there. They should have just cooled off and talked the next day. no they should not be together for BENT-ley! at least Maci has a good sense to think realistically. Tyler totally looked like his mom right there! Of course the last shot of Farrah is Julian curling her hair haha

to be a partner, to not be a partner

hiii-yeee. sherrod duhhh. aww love Simon. I kind of get what Jonathan is saying since it was a quick deal and not really professionally discussed but a client is a client I guess and that place is huge! "need a little fatso" HAHAHA omg that's awful. What's wrong with SP? maybe Jonathan doesn't like her. I wonder if Erika and Coco are still engaged. JChebs is mean when Simon gets SP and he just shuts it down because they were already friends. oooo that was a bad phrase, JChebs is not going to take Simon saying that he's running the company well. yeah Simes it was kind of an ambush. This is the first time we've seen him unshaved. Why would he get angry about the parking spot, it doesn't mean that he is for sure not wanting to be partners. aww he is so excited to ask her! how sweet. wow that was quick thinking Katie, she's a good liar. that's where they shot Entourage. that ring is beautiful! oh nice Jonathan! "who knew he was so rich?!" haha of course he would say that. I see both sides to what Simon and JChebs are saying, JChebs started this business and for Simon to come in and work for him after he was established asking for a partnership is quite ballsy yet it can't hurt to have that conversation. oooo I def don't think ultimatums are going to work with JChebs, no no. see I was correct! that's exactly what JChebs is thinking. I'd be pissed if he gave me that ultimatum, those don't work on me either. SP looks pretty! pee wee's playhouse?! not nice. SP looks mortified too. I've been to that mall, accidently, kind of scary. I'm actually shocked that Simon brought it up, uh especially in front of the girls! that's not professional. omg he's from Canada? I thought he said the midwest. where is he walking to? isn't his car parked in the back? wow I'm shocked that he agreed to be partners, Simon looks shocked too. that house they were near is super cute. yeah Katie I think I'm with you here.

storm chasing

Barry's Bootcamp! I've always wanted to do that! Who doesn't wear a sportsbra to the gym? weird. That trainer is kind of cute but lets be real he's probably so po. Aww game night, would be cute minus Scott and his lime green sherbert shirt. Kris don't wear that dress! She can at least wear something that flatters her body. 15 lbs?? um no, being as tall as she is I'd add about 20 more to that. wait I missed it, his name is Storm?! Is he a pornstar?? OMG I'll have to check. I'd be excited if my wife got a personal trainer but with Bruce being the athlete he is its weird that she wouldn't want to just work out with him. ooo Kim is totally a sore loser!! That's not fun. I'm sure everyone else is bored. ewww why would her brother want to see her naked, uh no. hahaha I'd act the same way if a spider fell on my head! and have a heart attack. obvs this kid wants to be a celeb trainer and hopes to get more clients by being on the show duhhh its hollywood people. eww why is Scott in Kim's house? please go away. byeeeeee doucheface. we?!! she didn't agree to be Scott's betch, just Kourt's. I'd throw the egg in Scott's face and spit in his eggs. nice purple pants BARNEY. yeah I agree Bruce!! I'd be as bored as him. Noreen is not cute, sorry, I'm not a hater I would say if she was cute but no. Of course he's not going to be interested in Noreen!! She doesn't have the cash flow that Kris has, again its hollywood folks! Scott should be left outside and forgotten. that dress is not much more flattering on Kris, woof, not a cute look. Storm wants to be her pool boy. HELLO. no worries Bruce I got your back. um Kris yeah he was talking about you on the date YOU WERE THERE. ??? yeah that's weird for Kim to ignore Kourt, these women are really in their 30s? doesn't seem like it. true that's inappropriate behavior. aww I love Mason :) I love that game!

negative and SOWa

wow. yeah getting the twin bed out of the room is quite complicated. I still think its weird that they always refer to her as fat when if you look at the girls they converse with on twitter, I mean no judgment but talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel. just sayin :) yeah get the smallest bowl you can find to put the large lobster in! Vinny is right, IDIOTS, they live in salt water. All Sam does is hang out with Ron anyways so it really won't be that different. why does Jenni keep touching her eye?! If I were Sam I wouldn't want to talk to Jenni either! they can't all blame everything on Ang, that's what prissy girls do?! what is she talking about? Yeah I bet Jenni used to beat girls up like that in high school BUT Sam pretty much layed Jenni's ass out when she had never been in a fight before. I'm pretty sure Jenni used to have a penis. Jen's gotta go lift some weights! do some squats, etc. Vin what are you doing?! She's not into you honey! move on. the girls in the random shots are much hotter than any of the girls that are brought home. ramona is a butterface, possibly post-op. hahaha Snook's friend is in NA niiiicceee. her plane leaves at 6:30 so her friend is picking her up at 9:30. yeah that sounds about right. im pretty shocked that Ryder made it! I want to try that drink!! Is it just me or has Vin always worn glasses?! CABS ARE HEAAA mike is wayyy too aggressive. I'd be mad too if Mike tried to carry me out, especially when everyone else is still at the club. he keeps saying he does this all the time but it doesn't seem like it. Snooks is way overdramatic! why would she sit in bed and cry? maybe we missed whatever else happened but I doubt it. I'd rather drink from a dirty rusty hose than drink whatever concoction they made. Mike and I agree on one thing, Snooks is a total drama queen. I'm over hearing about t-shirt time but I'm still cool with CABS ARE HEAAA eww that's creepy! Mike needs to just have fun and not sit and stew over Vin having a good time. He should just go home. WHAT?! that was weird. what is wrong with him? that freak out is totally out of nowhere and def not necessary. I'd be so uncomfortable. No, when you grab someone's face they def aren't going to listen to you. why are they screaming at each other about it?! either tell him or get over it.

Wal Mart LOV-ERS

I don't think Maci is really all that into Kyle. She keeps questioning if he's ready for a serious relationship when HELLO he asked her to move to Nashville! Why would he ask her if he didn't like/love her. duhhh Derek is the babydaddy!! I see Farrah is now making her own ugly ass clothes. She needs some sewing lessons ASAP. How come only Gary and his mom are larger than life yet his other relatives look pretty normal. CPS did come to visit Amber, she must be psychic. SHE MET THE NEW GUY AT WAL MART! hahaha yeah totally. No offense to Wal Mart or its patrons but who gets dates at Wal Mart?! aww I'd be so nervous to meet Carly! excited yet nervous but I think it would make me more sad to say goodbye. Dawn def has a point though, go into it realizing that she has a great life ahead of her. obvs Carly wouldn't recognize you! She can see shapes and thats about it. What is Amber pissed about?! What did Gary do?! I think she really lives in a world that we obvs don't hear or see. They need to break up and keep it that way. Remember how Amber acted when Gary met someone?! She FLIPPED out!! I wish Gary would give her a taste of her own cuckoo cocktail. I'd be so happy she met someone haha I'd be like YAYYY I'm free!!! He needs to listen to his family. why would Cate be excited to tell her mom?!! does she really think her mom is going to act favorably?! uhhh no. Cate should move out I don't know why she is still there. see Cate?! does she really not get it?!!! her mom doesn't care and she's not going to change so let her be highhh as a kite and be miserable. Of course Leah is eating random things off the floor, that apple looks like its been in the trashcan, sweeet. Gary shouldn't waste whatever little money he has on anything for Amber. He needs to move on. I'm not a mom yet but I don't want my kid crapping in a non-real potty. I know its apart of training but that grosses me out. DUHHHH it would be like 99% you moron its his sister! she loved Derek and is so stupid too. I don't want to speak ill of the dead because obvs I don't know him but why he would ever like Farrah is beyond me. On her 16 & pregnant show she and her mom made it seem like he was some cuckoo doucheface! Looking at his sis and seeing his pictures its not accurate OBVS. Ty has a cute mouse face. why does Maci's friend Taylor look so familiar?! honeymoon stage is gone?!!! they just met!! ew Amber's date looks dirty and he obvs looks like he's a convict. yeah jail is "sad" hahaha good choice Amber. I def would want someone who has been in jail around my child TOTALLY! Farrah should save that money for Sophia's college fund or SOMETHING. be smart, well, she should ask someone. BAHAHAHA "reasently" how romantic. Ryan looks so smart and put together. wowwwww hahaha uh not. Maci dyed her hair a weird red. its like Ronald McDonald. I'm sure the counselor is super excited to see Farrah and Deb again, I know I would! LOL Deb doesn't look right!! as I say, if they don't look right...it's like the truest thing ever. Farrah's ugly crying face. If I were Brandon and Teresa I would NEVER want to meet/know that April and Butch exist! ICK x 92384463 I hate them. nice ashtray. They are no joke the biggest heaps of white trash EVER. I'm so confused, Ryan is such a loser with no ambition; then here comes Kyle who has a career and is stable. I think she is just not sure how to handle a grown up. That was an odd breakup, obvs Kyle really didn't think this all through AND Maci shouldn't have jumped into it. She should just stay in Nashville and start a new life there why not? wait now she wants to marry him?!! Maci make up your mind! Good she should stay. She needs to cool it with the mystic tanning. How come we NEVER heard about Derek until now? Nothing Farrah does is sincere so I'm not sure what she is up to.

stunt queen vs. THE BEAST

SHE SHE by sheree' is acting?! As Fantasia's mom says "ooo girl please" Um no, there will be no oscar. Oscar Mayer weiner maybe but no statue. I don't like Nene but I agree that Sheree' is not an actress. HAHAHA "dj tracy young looks like she's really experienced with women" yes she does. I'm not hating, you go Kim! be you. I doubt Kim would really care if Nene wore sweatpants at her own home, kind of weird. Maybe Nene secretly wants Kim. I'm loving Kim's new wig! Ok Nene is being so P H O N Y does Kim not see it?! I do! Quote of the night "I've been chasing dick since I came out of the womb" LOVE IT. Why would Dwight lend Greg money?! I wouldn't give it to him. That interaction was quite staged and just odd. I'm LOVING Kim's outfits this season! Kim sat down and gave that interview with the tabloids so why would it bother her that her close friend would ask about it? It's like none of them knew. Ok no, I don't like Kandi's new man or date. What is up with Kandi's hair?! She's so pretty! fix that hair. aww Brielle has really grown up! so cute. Yes let him chase you Brielle! Omg I could never have that convo with my mom. Phaedra kind of reminds me of DeShawn. I bet she's glad she left the show!! Something about her doesn't look right though. I guess that means that Apollo doesn't even have a career, other than being a convict. He looks shady. I like the name Parker too. I wonder if she was really talking to anyone. I like that she is a super lawyer though! you go girl. Why would Dwight need a lawyer?! What exactly does Dwight do again? Where did he get 30 grand? "not even an m&m" hahaha I don't know why Nene is so angry with Dwight? I understand that she is upset that he would say Greg asked him for money, but why would Dwight make that up? I would believe Dwight. Yeah no, that doesn't make sense Greg. what pool does she want to go to?! why would there be a pool that isn't clean?! maybe she's talking about a quarry. I like Lawrence! I like Kim's stylist too! They both need to be around more this season. I don't get why Kim would still want to hang out wth Nene, if someone allegedly tried to strangle me I def wouldn't want to be around them ever. Ok that "shoe boutique" looks basically like this chick's apartment or hotel room. At least Phaedra isn't a hater..YET. It's funny that last season they all ganged up against Kim, including Dwight, and now they all ganged up against him. Kim's tank is butt ugly. I thought Phaedra and Nene grew up together?! She doesn't know her? Oh here we go Nene of course jumps in his face right away. She needs to control herself and get domesticated. How embarassing that she would do that at an event!! I don't get why the gays like Nene so much?!! any of the others, maybe, but not Nene.

spank kit

I have to admit I've always thought JChebs was gay but I know now that he isn't but I still find it weird that he would date/be interested in women. Simon always gets it right, yes that was uncomfortable! haha Erika, his date, is cute, she looks much older than him. She has sea salt?! with her?? Hello eating disorder, sorry just sayin. That kiss was very not hetero. I respect that Summer doesn't want to drink yet its very weird that Lauren keeps pushing it. Worry about yourself love. "Did she have a kid?" HAHA "Did she toot?" HAHA aww Carmen looks so pretty! LOVE HER! I love the kits! I agree with Simon, love the "Spank Kit" JChebs can never date anyone who doesn't eat! He'd be so bored. aww thats a cute pic! OMG he is with this girl again?! She needs to eat and enjoy herself. It kind of makes me think of Vince's gf from like the first season of Entourage and she was super vegan. They should respect the fact that each of them has different food preferences. "who else did your roommates have a poster of? hulk hogan?" HAHAHA so random! I don't get why Summer has such an issue with Lauren. Maybe a lot goes on off camera but it seems kind of out of nowhere. I would SO pose for Carmen too! Lauren's comments can be very condescending but Summer needs to keep it professional. I wouldn't have started the convo like that. Of course Lauren is going to say she doesn't know. Why would Lauren get upset though? How would she feel attacked by Summer telling her what her issues are with her. I honestly can't believe that Lauren wouldn't know that she was being rude, she's not being funny. It's a little dramatic. She has a grudge against her grandma??? Why would she say that?! weird. Uh oh here is the non-eater. Why is she judging what he eats?! Its none of her business. I wonder if this girl's mom is the cleaning company to the stars, its possible. They went on 3 dates, I'm sure he'll get over it. Season finale already??

LUBE it up

ewwww Scott being naked makes me want to puke. I'd be tramatized too! He has a chode hahaha he SO would! I think its weird that they only have family as friends! Branch out, its normal. Kendall and Kylie are so old now! Kylie is only 12?!! I don't think Bruce knows how old his daughters are. I swear on like the first season she was 11..and that was 5 years ago ???? who knows. GROSS why would Kourt want to spawn another Scott baby?! WOOF ewww I don't want to hear about Kourt's vaginal functions. "who buys lube?!" You're 31 years old honey! GROW UP. OMG Kylie's friend Matthew looks so young and sweet awww how cute. I agree with Bruce though, the house is so huge they can hang out downstairs. I def wouldn't sit and watch them though. Those boys are NOT 13, 7 maybe. Judging by the family I doubt these girls will bone until they're much older so I doubt Bruce has anything to worry about. Yeah he needs to back off with the group though, I doubt one of the kids is going to spark up a doobie in front of Kylie's parents. WIFE???? ewww That grosses me out the most. I don't get why either would be so embarassed about lube! No one else would care either. Asking someone just brings more attention to yourselves DUMBASSES. Just like condoms, if you can't go in the store and buy them, you aren't mature enough. Yeah Kourt someone is more of an adult than you! Not that shocking. Ew Scott is so ugly, he should just wear a bag over his face. OMG Kylie called a car service?! at 12??? I don't think she is 12. I would at least tell them that I'm going to Khloe's. ICK! anything about Scott and sex makes me sick. I don't know why Kourt is so freaked out about having another baby. I don't think either of them have to worry about fertility. I'm so sick of Kim putting in her two cents, she sounds like an idiot. All she ever says is "that was rude" sweet Kim. That's awesome that Scott still smokes!! Fantastic. Sorry no sex with Scott is fun. Kylie does not want any part of this convo with Bruce.

its about to be a WHAT?...

This season seems to be themed "pick on Ang" obvs things go on off camera and how she acted last season but they really are mean to her. Physical violence is never okay and she def shouldn't have hit him though. I thought it was weird that Mike went around to everyone and told them she hit him, kind of a pussy move. Samantha totally looks like a young Phoebe Cates right?! I'm so sick of Pauly and the boys giving Ang shit for things they do!! The double standard is old and as Pauly has said before, everyone needs to stay out of everyone else's biz. O M G who would moan THAT loud?! A lil dramatic especially when you know there are cameras and everyone is like right outside the door. HO-SE is back. I think its weird that Ang and HO-SE would sleep in Mike's bed. I would sleep on the couch. If I were that girl I would have gone home and not hang out with the dudes the next day. I'd be happy to leave that house too if I were Gina. I bet its so dirty and smelly. Mike needs to let this sleeping in his bed thing GO. I hope Ang offered to wash his sheets. I doubt she did but still Mike needs to let it go. Why do they keep calling Ang fat?! Snooks is like a tightly wrapped sausage. I would stand up for myself too though. She must do a lot of stuff off camera, apparently, because they really don't like her and it seems for no reason. HAHAHAHA Ron imitating Pauly waking everyone up. Of course their car would stink and Ron gagging HAHAHA I would think about leaving too if I were Ang. Or I would just enjoy the rest of my time by myself. I saw the word "spiders" on her list. ???? Jenni hasn't worn kini tops around the house at all until Tom came. She reverted back to last season. She looks sweaty, wears sweat pants and kini tops. I wouldn't even entertain Mike's questions. She should have just let it go or just leave. If I were someone else in the house I wouldn't care if anyone left because I'd know it was on them. When they're all out with Ang they all focus on what she's doing and now that she's not there Mike says they are having fun. huh???? I don't know if I like Snooks this season. I don't think that Alex dude could be anymore effed up. Why would Ang put her suitcases out like that?! DRAMA She should have just packed up and left, not waited until they got home. I bet her tummy dropped when they walked in. Snooks looks like she had a rough night. Ang got a SERIOUS grasp on Snooks hair. I bet that hurt. That was super awkward. Ang shouldn't have called everyone fake and just focused on the ones that pick on her.

CPS, now go to Amber's house!!

aww Carly is so cute. She def looks like both of them. It continually makes me so sad that Catelynn has such a horrible mother, I can't imagine having such an unstable life that you really can't control. Wait I missed it because I can't really understand Kyle but did she ask "what is an ethiopian?" ???? I don't know if I missed the point but that's the first time that Maci has had a Farrah moment hahaha. OK what is it with all these young girls having kids. This is not a general thing! I just don't get it. I don't know why Amber doesn't get that she and Gary not getting along doesn't help Leah understand what a healthy relationship is. Just because he is Leah's father doesn't mean it will work out, and if it doesn't then deal with it. OK AGAIN he is NOT your lawyer you stupid bitch. I don't know if the show just does that because he is in talks with her but he is the DA. Kassy is right to want to make sure that the money goes to Sophia! OH OF COURSE Kassy has a daughter, she's young, it makes sense! Of course Deb wouldn't like his family, I'm sure the feeling is VERY mutual. I doubt anyone likes Farrah's family. OK again, Kassy not taking the test is the only issue hindering this. SHE (Kassy) does not decide anything further. LIKE REALLY?!! idiots!! I've never noticed how freckly Maci is. Gary didn't make you look like a bad mom Amber, that is in your head baby doll. As a grandma of course she is going to help out if she is watching Leah. Oh CPS will get called? They must have been called before! It seems that as Amber loses more weight she seems to be getting more angry and lashing out. Maybe she is taking weight loss pills/SPEED. I don't know its a question. It shows how young Farrah and Amber are that they don't think ahead to when their girls are older and will watch the footage. Of course Ryan is doing nothing! What else would he be doing?! school work? actual work? never. gosh Ryan is such a hillbilly. Jerry should tell Ty and Cate that they should both go away to school and go separately. I doubt they will stay together forever. I give them credit for wanting to do something and go out and pursue it. I'm not hating at all. As long as they do something they will be doing better than their loser parents (minus Kim) I honestly can't believe people still don't finish high school. REALLY?! That still happens? Um no Amber, Gary did not say he was going to call CPS, he said if she kept yelling someone may call. Also, Gary never said he was taking Leah away. Is she talking about the convo going on in her own mind? maybe. Cate and Ty would know way ahead of time if they weren't going to graduate on time. Farrah needs to teach Sophia how to entertain herself. Where are the toys in the house? Figures, nowhere. That would be hard for Kassy to meet her deceased brother's daughter. Of course Farrah is getting ready in the bathroom while Sophia is probably all by herself unmonitored. Ok I'm kind of emotional with this reunion, I don't know how they seem so fine. OMG Sophia totally looks like her dad. He's not at all what I pictured. How do you get "no credit" for a class? Yeah April you ARE a loser. Farrah needs to stop crying!! She's what 18! Yeah she will NEVER find anyone else. eww i hate her. NO ONE IS BASHING YOU AS A MOM AMBER. Like I don't know what voices Amber is hearing but its not reality. Gary just needs to get his stuff and go. I'm like no joke disturbed by how Amber is acting. She is so stupid because if the courts look at this footage, which they will, she will lose custody. Honestly people are really like this?! I think that if you are going to raise your hand to anyone (male or female) expect to get your ass knocked out. No double standard here, it should be the same. I'm pleasantly surprised that Ryan and Maci were able to come to an agreement, mostly surprised that Ryan acted like an adult. I'm shocked that Kristina still talks to Farrah, her one lone friend. Farrah makes the ugliest crying face. I can't stand her I don't even feel bad for her. Why is she in such a rush to find someone?! How about focusing on your "culinary," which is laughable because she can't boil water, career and getting her life together. Just shows how stupid she is!

cheese in the hamptons

Simon is NOT peeing! I love the contrast in the girls convo and Jonathan and Simon bickering about not pulling over to go potty hahaha poor simon :( OMG I would never go skinnydipping with my coworkers AWKWARD "OMG the girls are nude" LOL oh Simon. EW wet weave in the ocean GA-ROSS. ok I need to see Summer's dad again, he looks super familiar! These passerbys are not cute. no. I love that house in the Hamptons, looks so relaxing. I don't like how Jonathan keeps saying how he is "letting" these girls into his world. Obvs I don't know their family backrounds but its way too arrogant and you know what they say, if you have to brag, you really don't have it. I want a "Hamptons preppy white guy" YES a freakishly tall one. oh cute kinis! Kelly is quite overdressed. Even with the blurred face, I think I like the dude in the green shirt. I like Lauren's hair straight rather than tousled curly. I wouldn't automatically think Kelly stole them, I would quietly go inside to see if she left them there. "I'm going to get some cheese" QUOTE of the night! abusing Simon with cheese HAHAHA Is that Kelly's new song? obvs I kind of like it. WOW Jonathan hammered kind of scares me. I would ask where Ryan's friend in the green tee is. He looks gay right?! Maybe, its all good. Wow makeout was kind of quick and now they're going home. Summer is "gettin it in" Omg he is SO skinny! I wouldn't bone him. I love how Jonathan says "Oh the white guy!" hahaha walk of shame for sure.

wee wee in your pants

BG55555555 They're trying to be like the Pussycat Dolls. That song is kind of stupid, not to be mean. Why wouldn't Khloe take off her shoes? Sand at the beach is expected. EWW I would never tell everyone at the table that Rob said he wanted to bone my friend. Malika is pretty and at least they can trust her. Rob and Malika sitting in a tree...awww MASON! love him. I would try and get his boogie too. I wouldn't invite these girls over nor would I really want to go if I were them. These girls are a little old to have a girl band. I would say no, Kris, its not the best biz decision. Bruce, the voice of reason, yeah I don't think Kris has any experience with music. She only manages her children and husband, nothing wrong with that but stick with what you know/its not like she doesn't have enough work to do anyway. Good choice Kris, let someone who has experience manage these girls. BG555555555 I wonder why Khloe cares that Rob would date her friend. I'm an only child but I don't think it would bug me. How big is Khloe and Lamar's bed?! HUGE. Lamar doesn't get frazzled or worked up about things, I think that's good for Khloe. He def keeps her sane. BG5555555 showcase!!! Lipsynch much? Are they saying "lets scratch"??? HOT. Why is Kris emotional? Does she think that she is going to lose out on a lot of money, probably. I mean this was filmed a while ago and we haven't heard anything from them since. hmmmm yeah co-manager means not that much work. I would for sure be weirded out by them "moving in" together because they haven't fake dated for that long. EW I would hate Khloe's or anyone's foot in my face. WOOF.

happy birthday HO-SE

I agree that Ang shouldn't have to tell HO-SE anything because they really aren't dating seriously UNTIL we find out that Ang has been telling him not to get with other girls so there ya go. I see what Sam and the rest are talking about how she plays both sides/doesn't tell the whole story. It seems as long as she looks okay or neutral, she thinks it will all work out fine. EWWWWWWWWWWWW "mike's children, my children, snooki juice" thats gross!! I'd rather go get a hotel room than sleep in the smush room. YUCK. It's weird that Ang is dating this kid but doesn't want to hook up with him at all. Why waste your time?! If you just want to hang out as friends then do that. Mike always comes in to see if everyone is okay haha when someone has an issue Mike comes along to make sure everyone is happy and feels better. awww sanitation. Karma is such a bitch, Ang was so concerned with everyone else having sex last season and now the tables have turned. In the end its no one's business what anyone chooses to do sexually and Snooks is a big hypocrite when all she wanted to do last season was bring random dudes home. Snooks meet kettle babe. I don't diss anyone in who they like because beauty of course is in the eye of the beholder, BUT the girls the boys actually like are total grenades. None of them ever get with super hot girls. There has to be gorgeous girls in Miami but obvs they don't like the jersey shore boys. Oh yay Tom is here. Anyone that likes Jenni has to have some anger issues/serious patience. He's for sure a juicehead and probably unstable. I can't imagine how Jenni's voice will sound in like 10 years, def like the mom on the show "Ma's Roadhouse" How come in this episode Jenni looks pleasantly plump?? She usually looks great and tiny. Tom is really surprised?! When don't these two have drama?!! Where are normal healthy relationships, obvs not in Miami/Jersey Shoahhh Is it just me or does Tom look like someone beat the shit out of him the night before?! ANGELINA, I'M OUTSIDE BRO hahaha yeah ok. omg what made her breakdown and cry?! that was out of nowhere. "the dress is too tight maybe?!" HAHAHAHA yeah I agree t-shirt time is annoying. um BARF Dennis is gross as are all the guys there. WOOF x2893847464 It's random that most of the pretty girls are the ones that Mike gets with. who knew? I don't know if Ron's shirts are getting tighter or if he is just juicin more. OMG pauly is stirring the pot! I've noticed that much more this season. Ang and her friend aren't even fat or large in anyway, why do they always say that?! the girl in the purple kini had quite a tummy. Its funny how each of them say they always clean and blame it on Ang. OK the dirty pad is GROSS! If the trash is full in the bathroom def go dump it because that is too much. "she doesn't clean after herself. period" PERIOD bahaha Gina is a nice friend, she tried to throw it out for her. Mike looks like a broke derek jeter, not popeye.

reunited and...its awkward

what planet is ryan on?! why is he at the reunion if he doesn't care about the questions he is being asked. He said he was "forced" to be there. WHATTTTTT?!! like he is for sure on drugs, I think prescription drugs for sure, he has the glassy eyes and just kind of stares. I love how he always says he's going to fight Preston. Excuse me while I burst a lung laughing. Ryan is what like 2lbs, I can see his bones, I'm sure he can totally throw down. Ashlee looks so much better now than she did on the show. HAHAHAHA McKenzie is right, Ryan is totally a homosexual. The biggest red flag is homophobia with people who really are gay. hellooooo that's not new. Um I highly doubt that Preston hates himself for peeing on Ryan's toothbrush. I don't care and no one else does. I don't think I would go that far if I hated someone but the cigs in Ryan's buttcrack is way worse!! At least urine is diluted, if people are stranded they could drink their own urine haha Maria really went hard with Ryan. I've never seen a host single anyone out before, I think something happened backstage or before filming. I doubt Ryan only acts this way on camera, I'm sure off its way worse. Why does Jemmye always look and talk like she just woke up?! Is Jupiter really a town?! Her twitter says Jupiter too. I think she meant to say psychology experiment. I don't think anyone was scared of Knight, that's kind of weird. Def were scared of confrontation. If I was in the house I would have been for sure like Sahar and called him out. NOOO Sahar is not with Pablo!! How does she not get it?! He's such a douche and he proved it on national TV. embarassing. McKenzie is such a weirdo, she LIKED Ryan, that seals it haha but she was all over the place and the fact that she kind of bragged about blacking out (during the season) is very strange and quite scary. I didn't know that Knight and Jemmye were together! and living together! I love that they adopted a dog though :) OK nevermind its def a bad sign that they are living together and he can't admit it. Jemmye, honey, cut your losses. so awkward. aww I'm sad that Marty and Preston broke up :( "what do gay people think when I don't wear underwear?" "that you need to put some on" bahaha

house expectations: not crappy because I have a daughter

April is "poor now"??? uh I don't think you could be any poorer. It's weird that April can't be happy for Cate and Ty, they obvs know she's better off now and are happy with the fabulous life they've given her. Does April really think that Carly would have been better off with them?!! Judging from all of their OK mag and Us Weekly covers, Maci is still living with Kyle and is happy so good for her! I'm so sick of hearing Farrah bitch about not having money. Ohhh that's nice, let Sophia pour coffee all over herself. Since its Farrah I'm surprised it wasn't hot coffee! She already scalded herself in the sink. I think that Farrah's parents have the right ideas and are smart but Farrah doesn't seem to listen. Oh what a surprise, her ex's family didn't like her either!! I'm shocked uhh NOT. Gary and his mom are twinsies :) None of her furniture matches and there is so much shit in that house, I'm pretty sure his mom is a hoarder. Amber has lost so much weight she looks great but maybe the weightloss has cut off oxygen to her brain because she seems to fly off the handle easily. I mean make up your mind, do you want him around or not?! HAHAHA "I want it to be nice, not crappy, I have a daughter" oh Gary! always knows the right thing to say. Amber is taking "meds"? yeah I was right. YAYY Ty's mom is here. The only good influence on both of them. Kim needs to hang around more. She should just adopt Cate. I'm glad that Butch was able to get a tatoo in rehab, sounds so sterile and safe! No Butch, Carly is not your granddaughter! EEEKK just say no to Butch. I don't know if maybe I'm cold-hearted but I'd never talk to my dad again if I were Ty. I'd never talk to April either. I'd be like no I don't have parents other than Kim! His real name is Darl?! Where the hell does Butch come from?!! Is that a white trash thing? Maci's friends have really interesting names, Bo and Mimi, I like it. I'm so not surprised that Amber would do Krav Maga, its the best workout for her because she likes to throw punches. OK Farrah the DA is NOT your "lawyer" are you really that stupid?! The only reason he is involved with you is because your mom clocked your ass and he has to represent the "victims" that's his job. I'm sure Kassy is happy that her number is "gonzo" from Farrah's mind. I'd put that email in my spam folder. April and Butch have been married for 1 year?!!! 1 year!!!? hahaha and he's already in jail. Nice convo LOL Wow I wish I had those nice family photos, being wasted and probably high. Def keep those for albums to show Carly one day. WOOOWWW "I don't know the name of the test" ARE YOU SERIOUS?!! Like she is not for real. I'm beyond floored at how stupid Farrah is. Amber really needs to cut her losses, its not working. End it drama queen. Every time we see Jordan, Gary's friend, he is like 4x bigger than the previous. I'm glad that Kassy didn't go, its Farrah's karma for being such a nasty person. You're a bitch, that's why no one wants anything to do with you. Awww Maci's parents crying as she leaves :( :( Of course we find Ryan sitting in the garage. Contemplating the air or his lack of brain cells. What is in Ryan's mouth?! WHAT?!! Maci is selfish?!! WHAT?!!! I would not claim Ryan as my child. Maci was probably so excited to get the hell away from him! Well that answers that, Ryan obvs didn't get any custody. dumbass. Why does Gary even bother calling Amber? They need to have separate lives. Does Amber not hear herself?!! She said, "You will tell me who you're living with" and the next moment "Don't be picky" ???????? maybe it's the meds. These law offices make so much money off these people. Who continually cusses during a meeting?!! AND she can't sit still. hey meth what up. Cate and Ty need to go to school and move far far away from there. I haven't read their mag articles so I'm unsure of what they're up to now. I'm glad that Butch isn't coming home anytime soon. OMG is that BENT-ley's big boy bed?! how cute! I would never eat anything Farrah makes. I'm surprised she didn't burn the building down. Didn't she go to culinary school?! She needs to call her landlord for what?! starting a fire in her apt?! stupid bitch haha THANK GOD finally someone tells her "that's life unfortunately" um DUHHH the biggest understatement.

soooo bro chill DUDE

I'm with Simon, we're here for the gorillas! It's obvs that Simon keeps everyone on track. I mean, depending on how long they're there they can def fit in a housewarming party. If I were Sal I would NEVER get in a gorilla suit. SHENGOOOOOOO is waiting outside Kim's door? That's kind of weird. Are people beating down Kim's hotel door?! If so, that's creepy and people need to find more stuff to do. Why is Erika always talking about how she is from San Diego, like its some planet in outer space! It's San Diego, HUGE city! She makes it seem like its Hawaii and everyone is sitting back drinking out of coconuts. UH NO. I wonder if the show told her to play that up, which doesn't even make sense. Poor Simon! He's trying to do his job and help the gorillas and the rest of the girls are planning Jonathan's party. Not to be mean, but I mean he is just there to look at the venue, not fix the games, he's going to be okay. I would tell Simon too, good job Katie. I would be so upset if I was Simon. Jonathan is his partner, yet it seems like Simon has to fix everything and do all the work alone. No wonder he overheats! Sal's voice scares me. I'd be scared to deal with him. He is no Pauly D. "why are you standing here like a swan EEK?!" bahaha another classic quote. His apartment looks fine, if he's not happy he should have the party another night. EW why is Kelly there?! Shouldn't she be rambling on or wandering in her own cuckoo mind?! I think the gorilla suit is funny but its kind of tacky. I like that Kim is helping animals :) I'm that way too. oh wendy how you doin. I love his apartment, and I was just thinking that it was small!

gap toothed

I don't understand how Kourt can be surprised that no one wants to attend Scott's birthday! He is such a loser, not to mention a complete sociopath and its not funny. Kourt needs serious psychological help. No one should have to make an effort for Scott who has done nothing but ruin their lives the day he entered Kourt's. It shows how much help she needs when she actually says that her family should make an effort. You're a loser doll :) Yeah, that's the answer Scott, get her isolated. RED FLAG much?! The next Scott Peterson, HELLO. Sorry Bruce, I'm with the girls, Rocky needs to get neutered. Its normal. He can't be humping all the neighborhood dogs. He's not even Bruce's dog, he's Reggie's! Don't they have other dogs?! Didn't they get neutered? The implants are a bit much, that's silly. Rocky looks a lil too skinny! Maybe my dogs are fat, yes they are, but he looks so ano. Scott is in NY, typical American Psycho. Uh oh super private, so no one can hear Kourt scream?! I'm pretty sure that the family would be sad that Mason would be moving away rather than Kourt. I want to go eat at Geoffreys!! It looks so pretty :) AHHH I was right! "Can you imagine what life would be like without Mason?" I'm such a genius :) Khloe is so right, Kourt reverts back to acting like a child when she doesn't get her way. It's not normal to act that way at 31, like something is wrong! I can't believe they blurred out Rocky's surgery hahaha OMG Bruce with the pasta "3, 2, 1" BAHAHA I'm so Team Khloe, I agree, none of that makes sense! Getting neutered does not make Rocky a girl! I guess when Bruce got his vasectomy he became female. How EMBARASSING yeah total party for Scott. EWWW That's sad. I doubt Scott would really give a shit anyway. Scott would be happy in front of the mirror staring at his buck teeth. Awww it scared Mason :( I would never apologize to Kourt after all the shit that Scott has done. Who wears a suit 24/7?!

see ya later alligator!

NoLa comes to an end. Eric looking back at the 3 months he has shared with his roommates would probably be something that I would do at the end of that experience as well. I think they all would change things that happened and I agree with Eric that all you can do is laugh at the stupid shit that you did. Grant, McKenzie's dude, is totally someone my friend would like :) She's def a southern belle at heart. Pablo is such a doucheface! I mean we already know that but the fact that women really want him is embarassing. I'm surprised that even in podunk, Michigan anyone would want him and his bushy mustache eyebrows. I could totally eat the 8 scoops challenge LOL I mean duh, I could. I wouldn't eat all day and then I'd be fine. I could have done without seeing the puke. I'm gagging. When I saw Preston blow stuff in her face in the preview I honestly thought it was like a voodoo, or hoodoo, not sure which one it is, like curse or something. I know, very random and weird hahaha I would eat that edible fruit bouquet and send him the sticks and trash. Sahar needs to drop him like a bad habit. No Ryan YOU are the douchebag. Come out of the closet please, you will be much more pleasant. Of course he has to call BROTHER. What a fucking weirdo. Good I'm glad those old binoculars hurt him. Team Binoculars!!! Straight guys totally want to tickle other guys' feet. TOTALLY. The funny thing is we never saw him joking around with the girls like that. I don't think anyone cares that Ryan came and went. Don't let the door hit you on your boney ass. Ok its funny but I'm sure some Orleanians are probably so offended by Knight's impression. I've had crawfish and I really don't like it. I'd rather eat other crustaceans. Ok the Zombieville commercials are SO funny! When that one guy throws popcorn and is like "get out of the way you ignorant HICK" I can't stop laughing at that. hahaha OMG I'm not even there and I'm sad that they are leaving. I feel their sadness :( Ew I would never take a bath in that tub when every single roommate has had their jibbits in there! eewwwww OK Knight slipping BAHAHAHAHAHA I'm loving the yazz! aww Marty came to say goodbye :) I think I'd rather be the last one to leave or towards the end. I would never pack up and leave if I were Marty, seems a little soon. I LOVE McKenzie's goodbye letter! well said. I so knew that was coming, I called it before Knight even said it haha I don't think it was a coincidence that Jemmye and Knight were the last two to leave. Why didn't a cab come get Jemmye?

who knew a trip to the Zoo could be such drama

OMG amber and gary taking dance lessons! hahaha its too easy. That dress is beyond horrid. Leah is so cute though :) April really makes me angry. She, one, needs to go to rehab or jail (either would be fine with me) she's a horrible mother and she is the reason I think there should be restrictions on who can have children! She can't even wait for Grandpa Joe to come pick up Nick! It makes me sad for Catelynn, she obvs never had a chance. Rats don't scare me but that crippled mouse made me sad :( Why couldn't Farrah push it into the bushes or something so no one would step on it?! I hate Farrah and her karma is the reason why her life is so awful. You get what you give. Oh no please don't teach BENT-ley that Ryan is his dad! haha Maci should say Kyle is! I would. All Maci has to do is show the footage to a judge to prove that Ryan doesn't care. His family and his new gf cares, not him. Wait, Ryan had a career?!!! Uh when?! No. Maci is stable and a good mom, Ryan deserves nothing. WOW that was a nice screen shot of Gary's tummy. I'm sure that will be on The Soup friday. I love how Farrah is SO broke yet she can afford extensions?!! I highly doubt her friend would do that for free, her hair looks like it got stuck in a fan so obvs its not worth it. I don't feel sorry for her, if I were her parents I would have kicked her ass out a long time ago. It's so sad that Catelynn has her adoption agent to talk to and not her mom. Or when she called a social worker because her mom was in a bad mood and didn't want to talk to her :( I hope Ty and Catelynn get out of that podunk town and go to college and do something with their lives. The fact that they gave Carly a better life shows that they can make good decisions. I don't think it would be easy for anyone, especially being young and with a child, to tell their parents that they're moving away. I would def have concerns as to if it's too fast but def a hard sitch any way you look at it. It seems that Amber is going back to her 16 & Preggo days, I don't think she really likes being a stay at home mom. Its not for everyone but she should have just kept her job. She's approaching "terrible twos" so it's expected. The pink and white, no. very tacky. Here we go with the whining on the way to the Zoo, shut the fuck up Farrah. No wonder she isn't spending her birthday with friends, she doesn't have any. I guess that punch to the face didn't snap her out of it. It seems that when Farrah's mom is in a good mood she gets mad, I hope someone beats the shit out of her. I honestly think she doesn't have a soul, she would be good with Scott Disick. They can be evil to each other. Is Amber delusional?! She tells Gary to leave then says to Leah, "Daddy's leaving again!" Maybe she has been hanging out with April, she has lost a lot of weight. I don't know, its a question. That phone call to Brandon and Teresa would be so hard :( But knowing she's in a good home and happy would make it better. Carly is better off then the rest of these poor kids! All of them live in such turmoil. Is Gary's mom a hoarder?! The house always has so much weird shit around and like stacked up. I know they're young but staying together just for your child doesn't work. um DUH. I think Farrah needs a big wake up call. I hope Farrah doesn't get happy and she won't, she's so miserable and that's her own fault :) Ryan looks oh so happy to see BENT-ley haha its such a joke its not even funny.

homeless houses

Um I don't think a doc would recommend laxatives for stress. I don't know who he sees or what insurance he has but I'm sure he/she would try other things first. Erika and Coco are cute, I won't judge because beauty is in the eye of the beholder :) Danny reminds me of like Vince Neil now. Ok I can't stand it anymore, what is wrong with Lauren's face?! I know she can't help it but she looks like a platypus. Obvs I don't work with these women but I don't think I would hire any of them to work for me. Inhalers aren't a useful anxiety tool. I do agree with JChebs in that its not a serious matter and she can miss it but I def wouldn't have taken it to an ultimatum, a tad dramatic. I hardly think Simon going to dinner = him getting hammeyed. It is kind of weird if its like a monday, just sayin. LOVE LOVE Erika and Katie's apartment but does Erika have curtains in her room? Even though it probably doesn't face anything I'd still want something there. "that's my gum, that's my gum, that's my gum" hahaha Simon and JChebs can't have that much private interaction, he should move out. I have never heard of this bravada company ??? No disrespect to Shannen Doherty, but she is the last person I would hire. If Erika quit there would be a line of girls that would take her job."I need to move this homeless house out of here" I'm dying hahahahahaha I know that's not funny, but it is. OH no they should not have gone and talked to him! Shannen is NOT being a diva!!! This is not for real!! She has no career, sorry honey!! No wonder every show fired her ass. I doubt she really had a meeting, or maybe she meant "meeting" I'm totally going to steal that line, "stop sign" LOVES IT did anyone think Erika would really not show up. puh-lease.

kris loves the cigs

Since when does Kris smoke?!! Did I miss this in the last 4 seasons?!!! I'm shocked that "supermom" would smoke. WOW I know Kim & Kris are messing around but that's mean to do that to your daughter. Kim is gorgeous and has a perf face. Kris has a big hiney. I understand though because if Kim doesn't work then Kris doesn't benefit. For the record, there is nothing wrong with plastic surgery at all. why not?! I will have a plastic face as I get older. Omg those are like the extra long virginia slims! classssyy. It drives me insane that Bruce and Kris refer and treat Kendall & Kylie like they are 5 years old! "I don't want cigs anywhere near these kids" ummm yeah they are what 16?! I like that he and Kris only treat them like kids when they aren't making money for them. Yeah I said it! Its the truth. Needles don't bug me so Kim getting botox was fine. I'm surprised they didn't give her an icepack or something. She's getting herself worked up, she needs to calm down. Side effects are like 1 in kajillion. I can't believe Kris would get so mad about cigs when um HELLO you smoke. Yeah Bruce you tell her!! Beyond hypocritical. I honestly can't believe that Kris would never think that her actions would make Kendall "curious" about smoking. I know it wasn't real but I mean come on Kris, are you for real?! OMG I didn't even notice the bruises! I've never seen anyone have bruises after botox. That doc totally looks like Kurt Warner! right?? ps I can do that wave :) Kim doesn't even look diff I'm with Bruce.

HO-SE got played

stuffed SAWsage and another stuffed SAWsage hahaha vinny is such a mama's boy its weird. I foresee him being alone. I don't understand why anyone cares what Ang does! They all tell her to "do you" and she does then they all have something to say about it. DOUBLE STANDARD much?! get ova yaself sitch! or should i say mike SANITATION bahaha you do you boo. Oddly enough I can understand Uncle Nino haha I wonder what that says about me?! I hate how all the boys bag on how ugly the girls are, which they are not at all, yet they bring home the butt-ugliest girls ever! You would think from being on the show they would get better looking girls out. Snooks takes things way too personal. Her fight with Emilio didn't make any sense as to why she would be mad at him (other then pretending to cheat) and it was obvs that Ang didn't mean to hit her in the face so I would have reacted the same way she did when Snooks got so mad. It's annoying that Ang is actually doing her own thing and being chill this season and they still give her shit. not cool. Snooks sounds a lil jeal uhh huh. At least these girls are cute that came home with them this time! Those girls DO NOT have bfs they would have never come home with you/BE ON CAMERA and let their bfs see. Come on boys this is not a new thing. No one is really going to come over at 6am! I can't believe one girl answered the phone! That is the weirdest thing ever. "Good morning sunshine" NICE VOICE. she loves the cigs. Just as everyone is wayy too concerned with Danielle Staub's sex life, they need to butt out of Ang's. At least Ron Ron isn't a hater. Ang I don't hate on you girl! play on playa. I like that we can hear the mariachi music over HO-SE and Ang's convo. The "most beautiful girl in miami" kind of looks lke Sitch's sister with a lil bit of Jenni mixed in! I'm sure Vin's mom wants a go-go dancer as her daughter-in-law. Nothing against that as a job but Vin is always talking shit acting like he's all big and bad and these high standards. please. OMG he did NOT just hang up on her! What a brat. ewwww. I think you'll be okay. "I treat SOME girls as I treat my mother?!" that's your problem!! Who begs???? If I were her I'd hang up. That's low. Why would you want to go out with someone who doesn't want to go out with you?! aww that's sad. Pauly's date is cute though, well kind of. If I were his friends I'd be like Vin STOP. She's not that into you.   

here comes the beast! rawwwrrrr

Sammi "Sweetheart"?? more like Sammi WWE fighter! Jenni had no idea what was coming! I guess she's not the big bad wolf she says she is. I still don't think any of that would have started had Vinny not went over to Jenni and started stupid drama. I thought Jenni was engaged?! maybe not anymore but why is she asking Snooks to hook her up with Dennis' friend?! I'm so Team Sammi on this one. "YOU'RE THE ROB KARDASHIAN OF STATEN ISLAND!" LOL bahahahaha so hilarious! There def has to be more drama that we don't know about because their hatred/sexual tension has to come from somewhere. I def understand what Ang is saying about how Vinny needs to get off the "good-looking train" because he is very judgmental when quite honestly he really shouldn't be, he's not butt ugly but he's nothing special either. As we all know from the tabloids for the upcoming season that when Sammi saw this year's footage she flipped out and left the house, BUT, she came back the same day, AND, they are still together!! I hope no one sees their relationship and looks up to it! I doubt it. I think the only wardrobe that Sammi owns is black tanks and jean shorts. Now we see where the herpes outbreak came from!! The "Smush" room. WOOF. Double WOOF. Snooks and Dennis dancing, "spanish" bahaha then she's like oh I'm not making tacos tonight! so random! We have our first male grenade! Aww I feel bad for him. Staten Island Ferry son! hahaha

jemmye meet kettle

During the entire season, we've seen Jemmye cry and get completely hammeyed and blame it on her previous domestic violence. She went to the counselor and talked about it, vowing that she would get help and work toward healing. I think, yes, she has been in abusive situations and I don't make light of that, but I think she uses that as an excuse to okay her lashing out. She fights with Knight on the daily about stupid douche shit he says yet decides to lay into his face tonight?!! What a crock of shit, it makes me not feel sorry for her at all. I guess its good she admitted it in her therapy session but its like helllooo you're an adult, act like one. Sorry Knight, no one has the right to hit anyone, that's not an excuse, "I got her to that point" I don't like that there is a double standard with domestic violence, um no, not cool. I don't like how that was not taken more seriously, its not okay. I'm sad that Ashlee and Knight didn't take the homeless experience seriously. With how lucky we all are, you can't just stay in your sleeping bag for the night?! It was completely disrespectful. At least Ashlee came around and expressed that she understood the point. I like Loretta, she's like me no nonsense. Why would Sahar want Pablo to come visit if she was just crying about how he madeout with some chick and took her home?! I'd pick his friend Omar over him FOR SURE. I doubt Elie aka Pablo really gets that many chicks, he first needs to get his eyebrows waxed and not have a creepy face. As Kim said in reference to her mom setting her up with Gerard Butler, 'Um BARF" I can't believe he would get like that when she is going to perform. DOUCHEFACE. Who puts their head down at the bar?! bahahahaha Knight "uh here's your phone" Sahar should like Eric because he is so nice! She should like nice guys not toolfaces. She has a good soul voice with some nasal issues mixed in.

yo mamas on crack rock

gary looks smokin in that wifebeater. HOT HOT HOT. sophia getting her shots :( but here we go again with Farrah bitching about how she ALWAYS has to take care of Sophia. It's called being a mom you stupid bitch. Some women have 3 or 4 children on their own so shut your face. ugg I can't stand her. Ryan doesn't care about BENT-ley, his parents want to see him. Ryan could care less. He is such a loser, he needs to go to school or get a job, I would kick his ass out if I were his parents. It's pretty sad when Ryan's new gf wants to see BENT-ley more than he does. Even though I agree with Catelynn's mom that the red dress looks horrible on her, what the hell is wrong with her mom?! She must have left her crack pipe in the car. EWWWW be an adult, such trailer park trash. Catelynn needs to get far far away from her mom. I agree with Maci's friend Taylor, Ryan doesn't care at all. OH now we see why Ryan wants more time, so he doesn't have to pay as much!! He pays what like $200 a month??? breaks the bank. I seriously can not believe that CPS has not visited Catelynn's house ever! Maybe they have and we just don't know. yo mamas on crack rock. I still don't understand how any woman can watch this show and STILL want to date Ryan!! um hellooooooo. Ryan and his dumb hick friends don't realize that BENT-ley is what 1 and by the time he is 18, paying 80 grand is NOTHING. DUMBASS. Farrah's hair looks really pretty out of her face, she should do that more. WOW what a top shot lawyer Ryan got! bahahahahahaha what an ambulance chaser. Maci doesn't care about Ryan, she doesn't want to control him. AHHHHHH I want to scream! haha this really scares me because this is how like 75% of America is. eek. On a lighter note, I'm glad that Farrah extended an invitation to her mom for therapy, they need it. As cuckoo as her mom is, she most definitely loves Farrah. She's just a mess. Gary's friend Jordan is so stupid, I doubt he has a gf/never has had one. He needs to keep his mouth shut. It's her birthday, she can do whatever she wants. FARRRAAHHHHH SOPHHIIIIIAAAAA, her voice makes me want to stab my ears. I would let Deb watch Sophia as long as she kept the backhanded comments to herself. Those digs here and there would drive me crazy! hahaha her cousin, "now do you see why she's such a bitch?" yeah all Amber does is whine but tonight she has the complete right to. I would have thrown that cake on the floor, there is no way Gary wasn't going to get the cake, I mean its CAKE. BENT-ley looks more like Maci then Ryan, THANK GOD, I hope he got her brain genes too. And here we go, Ryan doesn't even care about having BENT-ley there! It's everyone else. I hope no one else spawns his child. I would have never invited April for prom pictures. Catelynn looks nice in her dress, it's very flattering on her. Not to be mean but is anyone else shocked they won prom king and queen?! Good for them though.

If I saw Alki on the street, I'd run SO fast the other way. eek

Why would JChebs buy a diamond hourglass?!! How frivolous. Thank god Simon is there to keep him in check. I agree with Chebs, this "billionaire" deal is wayyy sketch. I love that he's only known as "Alki: The Billionaire" so normal. so normal. I would run so fast out of that house, I'm thankful they made it out of there alive. heebie jeebies. OK Nikki & Susie look like Chelsea Handler. OMG like her lil sisters. Where have I seen Jen, Alki's gf before?!! Was she on a reality dating show? I'm so surprised that Simon, the more focused one, would really want to take this cuckoo deal. No thanks. Wait Jen's dad is Paul McCartney, I think that was a joke. I have to google this betch. N & S may be slightly handicapped so I won't make fun of them, but really who talks like that? HAHAHA Jonathan throwing their rolly suitcase out the door is hilarious LOL Ok I just looked up Jen and it says she's a model. She looks nothing like she does on the show. It also says on her website that she has her own TV shows and the link goes to Spin Crowd hahahaha yeah OK. I also read that Alki makes these weird personal contests for people to streak naked in front of Obama. What a weirdo. "the only person you call for them is a plastic surgeon" bahahaha Yes Chebs have like 100 gummy worms, they need to get the eff out. I would have barred them from the building and life itself. I would have slammed into their car! So hilarious/creepy x 100

shengo my wango

I'm SO SO in love with Kim's house! LOVES it. No offense but anyone going to indy 500 is more excited about the cars and beer than Kim, lets be honest they want larry the cable guy. Shengo is not cute. SORRY. I mean he's not butt ugly but no. What was that photo shoot for?! So sick, def loves it. They always do random photo shoots that no one ever sees, maybe I'm out of the loop. I like that Lamar is learning to swim. He honestly seems so down to earth and chill, if he was super diva he wouldn't be doing that. Rob getting hit with the noodle bahahaha He deserves it, he's being such a douche making fun of him. You learn to swim Lamar I'll cheer you on! Why does Scott go to all these events that have absolutely nothing to do with him?!! He should be at home watching Mason, please do something you doucheface. EW hate him. Get braces please. The more Shengo talks the more I think of Liam Neeson, he's still not cute though. A guy hasn't pulled Kim's chair out in decades?!!! Um isn't she 30? Maybe it happened when she was 10. I can't believe Kourt would tell Kim that guys only want to date her because she's her. Please don't give out any advice, instead go to therapy because you have problems. Scott "got help" you need to too ASAP. Why is she shlepping around to everyone's house like a transient? Get your own place. Kris giving it to Scott is L O L!!! Scott should go back under the rock he crawled out from. "what is he a drug dealer?" HAHAHA Get some help Kourtney, you're just as much of a loser as Scott. Team Kris! The kiss between Shengo & Kim couldn't have been any less sexier. Everyone had one too many drinks?! Shengo didn't drink at all. Don't blame it on the aaaaa alcohol.

old lady buttcracks

We first and foremost catch Danielle in a lie!! She most def told Danny to "do whatcha gotta do..." As much as I don't care too much for Danielle I think AC needs to be more harsh on Teresa because she has wayyyy too many skeletons in her closet. I do however agree that Danielle does not take credit for anything she has been responsible for. I just LOL at Danielle calling Jac a "vegas whore" because if you really pay attention to former episodes or read about her, it is pretty much true. I WILL say that everything Danielle has EVER said has been true when calling these women out, absolutely everything. I know that there has been a lot going on off camera but I absolutely can't stand Caroline. I think that she really has nothing to do with any of this and should leave it to the rest of the coop. Jac TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR DAUGHTER. What a hypocrite, your daughter is out of control and obvs very lost. I'll give credit to Caroline in the fact that she has talked to Jac about Ashley, but Ash is way too old to be acting that way. Danielle needs to stop dancing around certain issues, it's weird that in part 1 she was so honest and answered all the questions and now she is kind of like a scared puppy. I said it before and I'll say it again, Ashley is so full of shit saying that she thought Danielle "hit" Jac. Unlike your mom boo I can smell the bullshit. As ridic as it was for D to bring the dummy head with hair extensions, I found it extremely disturbing that she sat and laughed as AC tried to pull it out. She has been SO disturbed and shocked by nothing, yet someone being physical doesn't bug her?!! Very weird. ChriTAPHER?!! beyond creepy! hahaha Is it prom kim g?!! Nice dress. Prom 1986. Her face lift looks nice though. "old lady buttcracks" BAHAHAHAHA ok I need to get back on track. I like that Kim talked all that shit about Cujo its HILARIOUS and SO true. She is a broke betch, Joe will be in cell block C pretty soon. He'll be giving other types of spankings. Caroline needs to shut her face about her family, her family, shut up. D is right, Caroline says she stands with her family so obvs that is why D would feel threatened. The whole apology between D and Jac is completely out of left field. I didn't see that coming/ I can't fully think its sincere. I agree that everything is way out of control too. If D had started an apology they all would have jumped on it saying she's lying. The ending was quite quick but I'm kind of disappointed that D backed down. D should have never hugged them! Nothing will change and they aren't friends anymore, they all need to move on. What is Teresa talking about saying that D was writing about her or calling newspapers, I've never seen anything. After seeing the previews I can't wait for bev hills!!

the garage battle

Tonight I have 2 guests helping me write my blog, my cat puss, who is on my lap, and my dog georgie who is at my feet. They obvs share their sissy's views so I'll carry on. We start off with Khloe unable to find her engagement ring DUN DUN DUNNNN yes of course its important to wear your wedding ring to show your love but to have to wear it at ALL times seems kind of strange. I don't know I'm not married but the fact that she's worried at how upset he'll be that she is not wearing it at the house is kind of weird. The majority of the episode is geared toward Bruce vs. Kris and the garage. Obvs Bruce has some pent up anger especially with the tahoe condo comment. What kind of worries me is how worried Kendall is at Bruce and Kris arguing. She's a little old to be acting that way but I've always thought that they treated them like young children when they are well into their teen years. All the girls seem to be quite immature for the ages that they are. Maybe because I'm an only child but they all seem kind of emotionally underdeveloped. "Lying is not what you do when you have a husband"?????? yes lying is never okay when you have a husband haha weird

woof woof woof yap yap yap

JWOWW quickly got her mouth shut when Sammi stepped up to her tonight, woops I meant an uppercut LOL! As I assumed before, Jenni is all bark and no bite which tonight obvs proves. I guess she forgot to put vaseline on her face. I am however quite surprised that the fight started with Vinny! I understand being annoyed by the shit talking but it was kind of weird how out of nowhere he ran to Jenni saying "that bitch Angelina.." we obvs missed what occured earlier that night between them. The Sitch and that random blonde chick was weird and did anyone else get the notion it was staged?!! It was just too weird. Even though Mike talks a big game I think deep down he has the most respect for women then the rest of the boys do haha As usual Ronnie and Sammi go back and forth in an unhealthy relationship, which they aren't even together which makes it even more unhealthy! In Sammi's defense the girls really don't talk with her about why she would want to be with someone like that other than whine to her from time to time. Watching the After Hours as I write this and even on here its the same old same old. yawwwwnnnnn zzzzzzz How sad :( she really needs some self esteem. Uh duh. I can't wait for next week to see what comes of the big cat fight. MEOW. My Pauly is so cute, even when he is beyond shit faced :)
sausage and pepppppppppaaaaaasssss

ryan goes wee wee wee all the way home

I along with the cast was so excited to see ryan leave! The past few episodes I've had a knot in my stomach/wanting to jump through the tv and sock the shit out of ryan and at the end of tonight's episode it was gone. First off as I commented about last week's episode is that NO straight male asks to suck a dude's nipple and balls with the vacuum. none. nada. Tonight with Ashlee saying that Ryan and "brother" and "cousin," just about the weirdest thing EVER, were showing each other their balls and laughing kind of seals it as well. Be free my friend, your issues will go out the window when you come clean about who you really are. If I were living there I too would have been like Eric and tried to stay out of it yet getting increasingly angry until I just exploded. How Eric kept his cool is beyond me because at that point I'd be seeing red. I don't know if anyone else thinks this or got the impression but is Ryan mormon? I don't know but I think so. I wouldn't classify his issues as OCD but more socially awkward/sociopath. cuckoo

CPS CPS please go to catelynn's house

WOW where do I start?!! Who on earth would allow Catelynn's lil bro to be in that household?!! If the cigs weren't bad enough, her mom has to be doing something! Maybe she should be off with Butch in rehab. I have always felt bad for Tyler and Catelynn but tonight made me SO sad! I'd be out of that house so fast Butch would think he was having a flashback. THANK GOD Tyler has his normal mom, I still can't figure out how they were ever together in the first place. I'm not sure what is motivating Maci to all of a sudden pack up and move to this dude's town...not to diss anyone because he is very nice but he looks like he is about to turn 100. There has to be more to this story that is not shown because it seems like all of a sudden she is so desperate and jumping into something that may not go over as she thinks, but I mean she is what 19?! Farrah..oh sweet Farrah, her mom has definitely rubbed off on her. I don't understand that girl! She totally falls for a scam that my dog could sniff out and then blames the bank for not helping her?!! Umm how about you're a dumbass. She has a weird entitlement issue which kind of proves why she never really has friends for a long period of time. Get it together boo. Amber and Gary (garrryyyyyyy) I give Amber props for doing the best she can in this situation but it continually bothers me that she really doesn't have any sort of adult motivation or support from anyone. Farrah should take her along to therapy. OHHHHHHHHH I can't leave out the part where Catelynn's lil bro MAKES OUT with the wall imitating Butch and April. HELLOOOO, I don't mean to joke but I'm sure he gets in trouble at school. Makes me so so sad that people are really like this.

ohhhhh yeff

Jeff on Flipping Out is always hilarious with his OCD-ness but tonight took the cake when he was holding the infant and noticed her unibrow LOL he was contemplating whether or not he would pluck or wax it if that was his child. Beyond hilarious/kind of creepy! I'm really sad to see Jenni being phased out :( Sarah is kind of a dingbat, well very ditzy. Working as an assistant I would be fired if I did the things she did! I mean I know it's a show but still eeek! David from the custom door company..total peeping tom-type, if I had to go on any of those meetings I would pass. I don't know if I've just missed it before but since when do Jeff's cats go outside to go potty?! The fact that he wants Zoila to go out with them is LOL too!! yeff is loco. Jeff and I would soooo be bffs :) 

Mean Girls vs. The "Big D"

Tonight's reunion special of RHONJ was quite heated and I can't wait for part dos! Teresa took no time in laying into Danielle over Jersey Shore?! Weird segway but I digress.. First and foremost, Teresa is wayyyyyy too concerned about Danielle's sex life when she should be worrying about her own home life/auction. Even though I don't care too much for Danielle I feel its odd that as soon as she fights back and calls them out they flip and attack like Cujo! Yes, yes I understand that obvs there is much more to their stories and issues they've had with her in the past but I don't know if they just aren't intelligent enough to get their point across. Caroline has never bothered me until this season. With Al not retiring it seems she has much more free time to get involved in the drama, as much as she says she doesn't want to. I'll be the first one to stick up for my family but to sit back and say nothing about Teresa's financial woes and the cuckoo storm that is her life is quite hypocritical. AC did a great job of keeping Cujo down and I give Danielle credit for answering his questions so honestly. I don't know about any of you but I could care less if they come back for another season. OC I'm ready for you!